By and large, people in Elizabethan England expected, and were expected, to marry. Naturally, there were exceptions: Elizabeth herself famously never took a husband, and the lowest orders of society were not considered up to the task of marrying and keeping their own households. But in general, marriage was a typical part of an Elizabethan’s growth into full adulthood, with an estimated 90% of adult English subjects in the period being married at some point in their lives. Given the importance of marriage in Elizabethan society, it is worth exploring how English subjects of the period found someone to settle down with.
toward the woman’s forehead, from a series of ten scenes of musicians and
couples dancing, drinking, playing music, and playing cards,” Virgil Solis,
Germany, ca. 1535-1562, at the Metropolitan Museum of Art
One could, in theory, be married quite early in life. English law allowed for boys as young as fourteen and girls as young as twelve to be married, although parental consent was required for anyone below the age of twenty-one to marry. A young marriage might serve the interests of aristocrats hoping to secure a dynastic alliance, or wealthy merchants who could offer up a sizable dowry for their daughters. Most people, however, married for the first time in their mid-to-late twenties, with an average age of twenty-five to twenty-six for women and twenty-seven to twenty-eight for men.
There were ample opportunities for unwed young people to meet potential matches. For young aristocrats and major gentry, court, whether regional or royal, was an excellent place to see and be seen by eligible suitors. The more common sort might not attend royal dinners or masked balls, but there was still a robust social calendar of local fairs and parish festivals where unwed youths might mingle and develop a fondness for each other. In a time when many people lived in households beyond their nuclear family as apprentices, servants, or wards, some Elizabethans even met their eventual spouse in their own home.
Netherlands, ca. 1594, at the Metropolitan Museum of Art
That is not to say that youths were left entirely up to their own devices when searching for a spouse. Parents could certainly wield significant influence on a young person’s marriage decisions, given the cultural expectation of obedience to one’s father and mother. Parents or masters were generally expected to both guide young people under their care towards a suitable match and also serve as chaperones, for instance. More controlling parents might pressure their children in various ways, cajoling or threatening to disinherit them, but they could not legally force a marriage. All the same, it was customary to take the advice of one’s parents and relatives, and to seek their blessing before marrying.
While mingling with their peers, an unwed Elizabethan would be on the lookout for a good match. This did not necessarily mean a wealthy one, however. The common wisdom held that marrying for money, or at least for money alone, was sure to lead to an unhappy life. Finding an exact economic equal would be unlikely, but people typically married someone of a similar station to themselves. Beyond finances and rank, a desirable match would have a good reputation, free of scandals or questionable virtue. The judicious suitor would also seek out someone of a similar age to themselves, with similar religious sensibilities, and with whom they felt comfortable. Romantic love was not a prerequisite to marriage or even courtship, but there was still a general expectation that young people would pair off with someone they at least liked.
at the Art Institute of Chicago
Once an unwed Elizabethan had found someone who caught their interest, courtship could begin in earnest. In the early stages, this would entail brief visits, ideally in the presence of a family member or other chaperone. As the courtship progressed, gifts would be exchanged, typically given by the man to the woman. These presents did not need to be extravagant, with gloves, ribbons, and small pieces of jewelry being among the most common, and religious tracts being a favorite of pious suitors. Repeatedly offering such gifts demonstrated romantic intentions, and accepting them represented a return of those affections. Indeed, in the event that there was later a dispute over whether or not two people had ever been engaged or married, a pattern of gift giving could be cited as evidence of a relationship and intent towards marriage.
Assuming all went well in the courtship, the couple would eventually become betrothed. This could be as simple as the two parties declaring their intentions to marry one another, ideally in the presence of witnesses. By custom, the man gave the woman a gift to mark the occasion. Rings were a common choice, evoking the rings that would later be used in the wedding ceremony, although poorer (or more spontaneous) couples might settle for a coin, bent to commemorate their vow to one another.
Museum. Engraving inside ring reads “KEPE FAYTH TELL DETHE”
In practice, though, betrothal frequently involved negotiations between the families of the couple. The bride’s dowry, those resources she brought to the marriage, would be explicitly agreed upon, as would the jointure, the resources to be set aside for her upkeep should her husband die before her. Once all parties had come to an agreement, they typically threw a celebration to mark the occasion.
the Victoria and Albert Museum
Traditionally, there was a space of time between the betrothal and the wedding ceremony. In part, this was to give gravity to the proceedings, and to allow for cold feet before the couple were legally wed. Once married, there were narrow, limited grounds on which to dissolve the union, whereas an engagement was much easier to call off if the parties involved had second thoughts. English law also stipulated that the engagement be announced in area churches on at least three Sundays preceding the wedding. In addition to sharing the good news of the betrothal, this also gave the opportunity for legal impediments to the wedding- a preexisting marriage, too close a kinship between the couple- to come to light. Those hoping to be married sooner, or without announcing their plans to the whole of the countryside, could skip this process by paying a fee, typically five to seven shillings.
rings reads “AS HANDES DOE SHUT” and “SO HART BE KNIT”
Even if their marriage had not yet been solemnized in church, many betrothed couples seemed to consider themselves wed in all but name. Strictly speaking, English law and custom only required present-tense, freely given consent between an eligible man and woman for a marriage to be valid and binding. There were ample regulations about when, where, and how a wedding ceremony ought to be performed, and ignoring them could indeed get one into trouble, but they did not affect a marriage’s validity, only its propriety. Whether an engaged Elizabethan couple believed themselves to be already lawfully married or just predicted they would be soon enough, many, and perhaps even the majority, of them took their betrothal as license to have sex with their spouse-to-be.
That said, most couples in Elizabethan England still had their marriage solemnized by a priest, and held a feast afterwards to celebrate the wedding. For one thing, a public ceremony was the best way to ensure everyone knew of the marriage and could agree that any children the couple had were legitimate. But even beyond that, though, wedding feasts were community events, an opportunity for the new couple to make their social debut as a joint unit, for neighbors to celebrate their union, and for single people to mingle and find a match of their own.
Michael Lowry Lamble earned an MA in Museology from the University of
Washington and an MA in Medieval and Renaissance History from Loyola University Chicago. His research interests include religion in Late Medieval and Early Modern
England, magic, and the diffusion of firearms to Native cultures in North America. He is unmarried, and so will accept gifts of rings, gloves, and religious literature.
